Fashion Is My Foe

Fashion has never been my friend, it has always been my foe. We are like chalk and cheese. Pressurised at school, and desperate to be cool, I pursued fashion for many years. It didn't always suit me, but it was fashionable right? I've only recently given up buying trashy magazines emblazoned with images telling me how this skirt will make me look great etc. Sorry, but tulip skirts are ridiculous...I think they are the ugliest fashion item to have ever been made. Well one of them. Jumpsuits and shoulder pads are infinitely worse.

As a teenager I used to enjoy shopping. However, in my old age I have developed a dislike of crowds and people who walk slowly - that is what shopping is all about. I can't stand it. And in the age of the internet I feel more comfortable buying clothes online now. That, and my ethics have changed. Where possible I want my clothes to be fairly traded, even better if they can be made with organic materials. I can't get everything appropriate from fair trade clothes websites however, often because I can't afford the price tag. I am doing a fairly good job at wearing out the clothes I currently own though. My wardrobe hasn't had that many new additions since I left university. I had to sew up a hole in a black linen skirt during my lunch break the other day, because a colleague had spotted my knickers through it...oops... Yep, a lot of my clothes are getting a little worn, but if I can make them survive then I can avoid shopping!

So, you get my drift - I hate fashion and I hate shopping. The two are usually synonomous with one another. On occasion, however, I have to brave the high street. Shoe shopping (which I loathe above all) is usually one reason why because I have awkward feet and I need to check any new shoes will fit me properly. My most recent "proper" shopping expedition was a few weeks ago, when my brother's girlfriend, who is also a good friend of mine, and I headed into our local city to hunt out belly dancing outfits. We take belly dancing classes once a week and our class is putting on an 'Arabian Nights' themed show in less than a month's time. We are performing a duet to a song by our favourite band, and therefore we needed quite specific costumes that match/complement each other's. The internet proved lacking in the colours we desired - purple and black - and so we braved sweltering temperatures and crowds on a Saturday afternoon to hunt out our dream outfits. We were lucky enough to stick to the city's back streets and buy the perfect purple tops with matching coin belts, as well as pretty shiny material to make our dance veils with, from a couple of specialist shops there. This meant we could avoid the horrible city centre complete with it's stuffy mall, badly stocked high street, and frightening fashionistas who watch you like a hawk just because your tie-dye dress is so 1969 man! So, a successful trip for us both, completed with a good guzzling of Guarana Antarctica (that stuff is amazing and deserves a future blog post for itself).

I didn't have to worry about tackling another carbon copy high street again until yesterday. And eww, was it nasty! My fiance needed a his hair cut before we head off on holiday this weekend so I stayed in the city where we both work, waiting for him, and decided to do some shopping, primarily for a road atlas for him. Secondarily I thought I would kill time by looking for the final addition to our 'Arabian Nights' outfits. We need black gypsy skirts. Long, flowing, pretty black skirts. And I couldn't find any anywhere. No, instead I came across, and I am really not joking, human-sized versions of the very clothing I used to dress my Barbie and Sindy dolls with back in the 80s. Horrific - that very same hot pink one shoulder dress (the shoulder bit has a flowing trumpet style addition to it...), the very same clashing floral boob tube with random frills that fluff out of nowhere. Please don't tell me people are buying this stuff... Neon stuff everywhere. Argh! Ok, so I hate fashion, and therefore I technically have no right to judge what the "fashionable" shops choose to stock, but I couldn't believe that the light, pretty hippy summer clothes that are available every year were no where to be seen. They had been replaced with monstrous over-sized outfits that had originally been designed for plastic dolls with weird proportions! Not one high street shop could offer me a simple long black skirt with a bit of flare. Oh, as it's a belly dance we could wear harem pants because they are apparently in fashion right now... No, no, no! We are representing spinning dancing black holes, it's all about seamless flow, only skirts will do!

Yep, that experience has reminded me why I will (almost) never shop on the high street again! The reason I chose to risk it on this occasion was because my internet favourites had let me down too. However, I have yet to try the more individual shops back in my local city (we didn't look for skirts that particular Saturday because we were under the illusion that they would be easy to find at a later date). And here's hoping that will be fruitful.

I hate fashion, fashion is my foe. When it reproduces my Barbie doll's clothes it takes it all too far.

Rant over...