Afternoon Tea

Oh how elegant and refined it is to spend an autumn afternoon drinking tea and scoffing cake. Ok, so scoffing cake may not be elegant and refined per se, but it is damn good fun, and an excellent time was had by all!



Yesterday we went to a friend's birthday party in London. The birthday girl had done a marvellous spread of sandwiches, scones and cakes, and created a truly 1940s feel - vintage tea cups, bunting, and 1940s music provided the proper afternoon tea atmosphere. It was great to catch up with people, to celebrate a combined birthday and engagement (so therefore much talking about weddings!), and of course, to consume copious amounts of tea and cake, huzzah!


Photos my own.

Christian Camp!

Back in August, along with a group of friends from church, we attended Momentum. Momentum came out of Soul Survivor, held annually at the Bath & North West Somerset Showground near Shepton Mallet, specifically for students and those in their 20s. We were both nervous at the concept of going to "Christian Camp". Up for it, but a little bit scared! Well it was awesome!

It is a festival rather than a camp - we did sleep in tents, and have to share communal toilets and showers (they weren't bad as far as camping standards normally go!) - but there was no Koom-biyah around the fire or silly games - unless you wanted to do those things of course. There was just a lot, a very lot, of JESUS. And Jesus based stuff. Seminars, cafes, stands, bookshop, prayer room, chat room, all dedicated to our Saviour and our relationship with Him, and it was pretty fab! The highlight was the main meetings held in the Big Top, apparently the biggest tent in Europe. Here, all 4,500 people would come together to spend time with God, worshipping Him, learning from Him, and allowing His Spirit to work in us and show us His will for our lives, and His pure, never-failing love for us.

Stuff at work has been exceptionally tough recently, and it was reaching a horrible point before we went away to Momentum. God really blessed me while we were away, and although things at work haven't changed dramatically He has made me stronger and much more able to deal with the current situation. We sang some amazing new worship songs during the Big Top meetings, but one struck me above all the others, which was 'Our God' by Chris Tomlin. We sang it on the first night, and during the chorus (as below), God really spoke to me. He is so much greater than any other, and it is in Him that we find our strength.

Our God is greater,
Our God is stronger,
God You are higher than any other!
Our God is healer,
Awesome in power,
Our God, Our God.

And if our God is for us
Then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us
Then what can stand against?

Here is a clip of Mike Pilavachi and Andy Croft giving a little look back at the awesome Christian festival we spent a few very soggy days in August at.

And yes, we do want to go back next year!

So Very Special

Further to my post on Love I think our wedding day summed it all up perfectly - God, family, friends, and love all there on that significant day in our lives. We didn't want the day to end. It really was so very special.




Photos by Jess Foreman, our wedding photographer

Love

This could be seen as the cop-out post. But I don't feel well and want to get this post written so I can return to normal blogging!

Basically, the my last 4 entries: Friends, God, Weddings, and Family all speak of Love and show Love. And so I would just be repeating myself.

So, without meaning to sound too much like Hugh Grant in Love Actually - here's to Love in all it's many forms! Without it life would be meaningless. It is the only thing that sustains through thick and thin. It constantly breathes hope. It makes this life so very worth living.

Family

So I’ve not written on my blog for ages. But that has something to do with getting married a month and a half ago and time flying by!

So here I am again, now a married woman, and here to finish the little series on my top tags, and then to hopefully continue blogging as normal :)

Two weeks before our wedding I moved back in with my family. I need not go into the reasons why now, but going back meant returning to an atmosphere of regular arguments and lots of irritation. When you have lived away from home since university, going back for more than a couple of nights can be pretty difficult. I always seem to resort to my old teenage self – answering my dad back constantly, finding my brother’s taste in music incredibly annoying, and finding my mum’s nagging more than I can bear. However, whilst these things do happen, they are far outweighed by the joy of being family. Yes, there are issues in our family, just like there are in many others. But I am incredibly blessed to have a family that is still together, that love each other and support each other through thick and thin, and who were willing to take me back into the home to live for what is the final and probably most stressful stage of the wedding planning. That is love, that is patience, that is kindness, and that is being part of something. I have a really good relationship with my mum, being her only daughter and someone she can do girly things with, and can buy pretty things for (hehe, can’t complain about that). My dad and I argue a lot and often struggle to understand each other, but he has real strength when I am struggling with things, and his love is always clearest when I have made a mess of things, or when my computer is misbehaving! And, my brothers are two of my best friends. The eldest and I are closest in age – we often know what the other is thinking, share each other’s thoughts, and are naturally protective of each other. The youngest and I have very similar, slightly crazy, personalities and would probably be friends even if we weren’t siblings.

My family have been an unswerving foundation of love and support through life - from all those little tantrums and mad moments through to my exams, several essays, two dissertations, moving home many times, fundraising to go to Brazil, and most recently the wedding.

The wedding was wonderful and we didn't want it to end, but none of it, including the honeymoon afterwards, would have been possible without both mine and my husband's families. They gave us so much more than financial support - they all helped us move our tonnes of stuff from our house share with friends to the flat we have started married life in, my husband's brother was the best man, my brothers were ushers - the youngest was also the Master of Ceremonies at the reception and he also co-wrote with me the stories which went on each table. My mum helped with choosing the flowers. My dad, who has wonderful italic handwriting, wrote the invitations. Our brothers helped make the invitations and orders of service, along with a couple of our fab friends. My mum, her youngest sister, and my brothers helped make the placenames in a mad rush the day before the wedding. My dad selected all the wine, being a bit of a conneisseur of such things. And on the day itself they were all brilliant!

I am close to them all, as aforementioned, although my dad and I often have differences of opinion, argue a fair amount, and don't get to talk as much as I do with the others. The moments spent alone with him in the car on the way to the church were some of the most special we've ever spent together. I was proud to walk up the aisle arm in arm with him; I have never seen him enjoying himself as much as he did at our wedding. And that is a case in point - often we take our families for granted but precious moments like this cause our hearts to swell in love and gratitude, and you know that you wouldn't have them any other way.

Weddings

This weekend is our Stag/Hen Weekend. The men are off paintballing all day, and mine is a surprise, organised by my bridesmaids, up in London. I'm looking forward to an afternoon and evening out with some of my favourite girls, and knowing my bridesmaids it will be good fun and a good laugh and as far removed from any dodgy-ness as possible, which means I am excited and not filled with dread!

As we are at the point of the Stag/Hen Weekend our wedding really is very close now. We are both very excited, maybe a teeny bit stressed as we finish all the details, but definitely looking forward to married life, starting with a good celebration with our Lord, families, and closest friends.

I have blogged about a couple of weddings. We have now been to a further two, both this month, both very different, both equally beautiful in their own ways, and both reflective of the personalities and characters of the different couples. It is such a joy to know people can have a special day that they really enjoy. It is great that we have so many different friends and family members who all have different tastes, so no one wedding is the same.

The first wedding is I ever went to was when I was 3. I was one of the bridesmaids, and it was for my uncle. I remember having fun at the reception, being allowed to stay up way past my usual bedtime. I also loved my peach frilly puff-sleeved dress, ballet pumps, and circlet of peach roses that I wore on my head (my fashion tastes have generally improved since then, but it was the 80s!) All I remember about the wedding ceremony was being tired of standing for so long (which probably wasn't that long at all!) Later on we attended a couple of simple registry office weddings of my dad's work colleagues, which I was fairly bored at as well - I didn't have the greatest attention span! Then, when I was 12, my dad's cousin got married - they had a blessing in the church, and then the reception was held at Hampton Court Palace, in a special private function room. I remember it being wonderful fun - my cousins and I getting lost in the palace maze, a clown entertaining our special children's table, eating delicious food, and dancing the night away to a live jazz band, as well as telling my younger cousins ghost stories outside when it got dark!

But, it wasn't until I was 21, when I was invited to my first wedding independently of my parents, of a couple from church at university, that I really came to understand weddings and what marriage means,. This particular wedding was the day after the last day of university. It was swelteringly hot, and me and one of my very good friends made it into the church just before the bride was to walk down the aisle, thanks to having been caught by a level-crossing going down! The service was incredible, and it was the first time I had been to a wedding where I focused all my attention on the vows being said, the words of the address, the lyrics of the songs that were played and sung. From then on I have come to appreciate the ceremony of all of the weddings I have been to, be it church or civil ceremony. It is the symbol of the couple's love as they make their vows, the meaning of those vows, the celebration of their uniting and coming together. I am an old romantic, admittedly, but when you are close to someone, or they are part of your family (blood or otherwise), you're right there with them, rooting for them, and pledging your support for them.

I have nothing especially profound to say now, other than I LOVE weddings!

God

I almost backed out of writing this blog post. God is too big, too wonderful, that how can I describe Him and what He means to me in my little pink blog? A challenge indeed.

Easter was an excellent time for me to write it, but the busy-ness of life inevitably caught up with me, and I am close to neglecting my writing once again. Yesterday evening I received another prompt however. We went to an event held by our church, a sausage supper and viewing a DVD of the debate between Richard Dawkins and John Lennox about Dawkins' book, 'The God Delusion.' My fiance, himself a scientist, believes that science and faith are synonymous with one another, opposite to Dawkins who sees science and atheism that way. The debate was really interesting. Dawkins has always irritated me somewhat, but I found a new respect for him after seeing and hearing him speak. He may not hold my views, but he is passionate about his own, and I can't deny someone their right to feel that way, when I myself know what it is like to have ones fervent opinion suppressed by others. Lennox was also excellent. If I wasn't already a Christian I may have found my mind flipping round and round in circles, trying to decide who was right. Not being a scientist myself put me at a slight disadvantage when it came to understanding all components of their arguments, but at the same time being a historian helped me to instantly question the validity of some of their arguments, Dawkins in particular. Now, I am not going to go into detail of the different views of Dawkins and Lennox. That would be for a different time, and I think on a different platform to my blog, like in a discussion group or something.

What the debate last night does bring me to is God. Our God, maker and ruler of the universe - Father, Son and Spirit, three in one. Last night, in his closing remarks Lennox claimed the resurrection of Jesus Christ as the ultimate basis of his faith. Dawkins shunned this as being a poor and reasonless event to base any kind of beliefs on. Yet, that's just the thing. God, so amazing, so divine, sent His only Son into this world, to die for us, to save us from our sins, and to reconnect us with our Father in Heaven. The resurrection, if you believe in it, as I do, is of such eternal significance, such awesome power, so loaded with purpose, that it is a fallacy to suggest it is a poor and reasonless event on which to base one's faith. The death and resurrection of Christ is love. God is love.

Atheism and evolution cannot explain love. A bunch of atoms dancing together does not create love. This blog entry isn't about atheism vs Christianity, but it is about God, who is Love.

I first encountered God at the age of 5. A young and impressionable age, many would say, and I am inclined to agree. Only, I wasn't brainwashed. I was actually a pretty intelligent kid, but I knew Jesus Christ personally. There was no reason for me to question the existence of God when I knew Him, right there. The Holy Spirit residing in me, guiding my decisions, from as young an age as 5. It is true.

When I started secondary school and hit puberty, there were a lot of changes in my life. My family and I had been part of a Baptist church in our local town, services held on a Sunday morning in a school hall. However, some bad stuff happened, and my parents were very hurt by it, so we found a new church, almost a complete contrast, in the town next door - a High Church Anglican one. I still had a relationship with God, and I also had some incredible experiences at this new church, but, along with growing up, I began to absorb a load of ritualistic rule and regulations, which in some ways blighted my faith. I began to make irrational decisions e.g. if I didn't pray to God a certain way that was one of the reasons I didn't have a boyfriend. The God I know doesn't make bargains like that and has no expectations, but somehow I became caught up in a tangled web trying to do the right thing by ritualistic behaviour. My prayers changed too. I prayed unselfishly for the people I loved, but when it came to myself all I seemed to be able to ask was, "God, please give me a boyfriend. God, please make me more popular etc." I didn't, for one second, stop and think about my relationship with Him, and my growing as a Christian.

At Sixth Form I made a lot of new friends, as you will see from the below post. Some of them were also Christians, and I felt challenged and stretched by some of their ideas. I had also stopped asking for a boyfriend and popularity by this point! My family had also moved inland to the village where my dad grew up, and we started attending the local Anglican church, which was Low Church. This didn't necessarily help me much. The church had a much smaller congregation than our previous one, and the average age was at least 60. The move away from the Catholic rituals that had been part and parcel of our old church was strange, and perhaps a bit frightening.

Then, huzzah, I went to university! I joined the Christian Union, made up of all denominations, and I settled in a strong Anglican church in the town, with modern worship, excellent preachers, and wonderful, friendly people around. No demanding rituals (a format, yes, but no "you must do this, you must do that"), and no fluff either. During this time I reconnected with God big time. Once again, He was what my life was all about. Living for Him, living in His grace and love, and knowing I was unconditionally loved by Him, made for a purpose by Him, and knowing His eternal presence within me. God tore down the barriers I had imposed on Him during my teenage years. He pulled me out of the hole I was digging myself.

I realise, that this post does little to really explain God fully. I haven't justified His existence to non-believers. I haven't shown anything extraordinary about my life. I find writing about my God, my Father, my best friend, very difficult. I can talk about Him much better. Putting it all down into incoherent words like this...

I think the Bible puts it best, and here are a couple of excerpts:

God is love. This is how God showed His love among us. He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1 John 4:8-10 (NIV)


O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your Name in all the earth!

You have set your glory above the heavens.
From the lips of children and infants You have ordained praise
because of Your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.

When I consider Your heavens, the work of your fingers,
then moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?
You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honour.

You made him ruler over the works of Your hands; You put everything under his feet:
all the flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field,
the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas.

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your Name in all the earth!

Psalm 8 (NIV)

Friends

I guess the challenge with this short series of blog entries is to write them without allowing them to become too cliched, cheesy, or schmaltzy. I will just write what I can and write it honestly, and we'll see what I can come up with.

The first topic is Friends, at present my most frequently used Label.

Friends is an interesting topic. I will tell you a story from my youth (which really isn't that long ago, even kind of ongoing). I had a lot of friends when I was a child. I was confident, related to other people with ease, and was generally kind, inviting and accommodating. Then I started secondary school and the era of puberty soon followed, and life changed a lot. Boys, often my closest friends, were to be seen as something different. The desire for popularity soon became fervently strong, and I failed miserably to achieve it.

Secondary school was an immensely tough environment. I made a tight-knit group of girlfriends in Year 7, but by Year 8 the growing pains were beginning to show, and by Year 9 full-blown bitchiness had taken centre stage, culminating in a huge row and split in the friendship group. As that summer term drew to a close, things settled down, we all made up, and the prospect of starting our GCSE classes and getting to know others in our school year group, presented a bright and rosy future before us, as we determined to pursue popularity together. Now, our little group had never been part of the 'cool' crowd - a crowd divided into two main groups, the Townies and the Crusties (in more modern terms the Chavs and the Skaters/Stoners), names and coolness bestowed upon them due to nothing more than the brands they wore - Adidas and Nike etc for the Townies, Quiksilver and Animal etc for the Crusties. So, we joined ranks with several other small friendship groups (male and female alike) that were not part of that crowd either, and we soon developed a third group, a force to be reckoned with, though never quite 'cool' enough. The problem with this new large group that I found myself in (and I'm sure this was probably true of the Townies and the Crusties), was that it was really a big clique, brimming with exclusivity, with a few of us hovering on the outside, desperate to be a part of the centre. I never got to be part of that centre. I was occasionally an object of cruel jokes, more frequently forgotten about, and fairly often stood at the receiving end of the bitchiness from the girls of the inner circle, one of whom had been part of my initial group of sweet, geeky and fun girls in Year 7.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing - whoo cliche! - but it is so true. I still look back on that period of my life with a twinge of pain for my depressed 15 year old self, but maturity and experience have also helped me see that the bitchy girls were very insecure, and created a mask of superiority to hide behind. That doesn't excuse their behaviour, but it's helpful to understand what drove them, and I am now in a position to forgive them, even though my inner teenager still aches.

Sixth Form was a revelation. Our secondary school group was split between three different colleges, which I believe was a healthy change for all of us. In my first year of Sixth Form I was still striving for popularity, hoping to break in with a different group of cool people. But by the second year I had made, and was still making, a few close, reliable, and wonderful friends, some of whom didn't know each other, so there was no formation of a large and terrifying clique. By the Summer of Love (that blissful long summer between A-Levels and starting university) I was enjoying real, meaningful friendships with a number of people, something I had only been able to dream about when secondary school ended. One of these friendships was with my fiance, and little did I know where that would eventually lead (another story for another time!)

University was quite similar in many ways. However, there were some who brought boarding school and thus their immature behaviour along with them. And frustratingly, and perhaps most hurtful of all, was my familiar hovering position in the outer circle of the student clique at the church I attended, the place where I had least expected exclusive friendship groups to develop. That is a whole other story in itself, and the point here is where I have got to now and what I have realised over these past few years about friendship.

Friendship blossoms not from shared interests (although that is usually a good starting point) but through a willingness to make sacrifices for each other. To give that extra bit of time when it's needed, to make the reason you do things together be about bringing them happiness, not gratifying yourself. It is about total acceptance of each other, whatever your circumstances. It is about laughing at random things that other people just don't find funny. It's about having deep and earnest conversations about the meaning of life, whether over tea and biscuits, or getting a little tipsy over a shared bottle of wine. It is about seeing something and smiling because it reminds you of them. And, it about the times when you haven't seen each other for ages, but when you start talking it's like one of you has just come back into the room after a quick toilet break.

Popularity is nothing. It is impossible to be liked by everyone, even more so to make people like you, and if you try then you will spread yourself too thin and you won't be any good to anyone.

My secondary school years were painful, yet throughout those times my family had a whole set of great friends, including my childhood best friend, that constantly reminded me that there were wonderful people who loved me just for being me. I have such a fantastic and eclectic bunch of friends now, all different ages, and from many walks of life. I made my closest friends at college, with a couple at university, I still have great family friends, a brilliant church family, and a stellar immediate family. And I am finally learning that I've made friends the best way all along - remaining away from the clique epicentre, as difficult as I found it at the time, has kept me down to earth and made me better for it :)

Happy Birthday Daydreaming Out Loud!

Happy 1st Birthday to my blog!

I've now been blogging for a year, and in truth, I haven't written a great deal over the past 12 months.

To get me started in writing more, and more often, and in celebration of a year of blogging (however little), I am going to write 5 different entries over the coming week or so, on my top 5 tags. They are Friends, God, Family, Love and Weddings! (Although after this post, Blogging will also be up there too!)

May this signal more blogging from me in the near future, huzzah!

In the Pink

Pink is an awesome colour. This is why I have transformed my blog to reflect this. Pink was my favourite colour when I was a little girl. Then it became green, then blue, then purple, then back to blue... but really I love all of those colours now, and they are four key colours you will see in my clothing and in my bedroom (black, red and white feature fairly heavily too).

However, this is an entry about the colour pink. So, at present, I am surrounded by the following things in this rosy shade: I have a pink duvet on my bed, there is a pair of pink slippers on the floor, my PC (made lovingly by fiance and one of our housemates a couple of years ago) is pink, there is a pair of pink pyjamas drying on the bannisters just outside my room, and next to my computer is a gorgeous photo of me and my best friend, when we went for a professional makeover and photoshoot together before she got married, sitting in a circle of pink light.

When I was 8 my parents decorated my bedroom - the colour of the paint was called floribunda pink. To complement it the woodwork was painted baby blue, the furniture was white with pink and blue sweet pea patterns stencilled on, and all of the linen was pink, blue or sweet pea design in those colours. Looking back, I adored it then, but I'm not sure I could put up with that much pink in one room again. However, for my blog I think the colour pink will do just fine.

:)

The Gamrie Goat

For Christmas, amongst the many lovely gifts my fiance's parents bought me, was a basket of soaps made from goats milk! They come from The Gamrie Goat in Aberdeenshire, Scotland, and they also contain a load of delicious sounding butters, although I wouldn't recommend eating them...

I love the quirkiness of the idea, and it was lovely to receive something that wasn't just your standard Christmas bath set from Boots etc. The soap has been much kinder to my skin than the conventional shower gels I've been using before, and it's nice that they're not heavily perfumed either.

My fiance's mum also threw in a bar of goose egg shampoo, also from The Gamrie Goat...I haven't tried this one yet, but I look forward to giving it a go :)

I have added The Gamrie Goat to my list of favourite websites, along with Soggyfrog, a friend's small jewellery business, and took the opportunity to edit the list, explaining why I love all of those particular websites and the links they have to my everyday life. I would like to make my blog generally a bit more funky, so watch this space as I have a play with all the different features...

God's Little Gifts

Spring has sprung! I didn't want to go to work this week. It took an immense amount of effort to get out of bed on Monday morning.

But look! The sun was shining brightly, the sky a clear cloudless blue. Birds were singing and chirruping merrily. It was a little bit chilly, but still bright and beautiful. My mood as I walked to work was uplifted as I drank in the glory all around me. The final part of my daily walk to work is through a churchyard near the office. As I got through the gate I spied snowdrops dotted everywhere - in the bleak winter grey of the previous week I hadn't noticed them. Scattered amongst them were the tiny purple buds of crocuses beginning to appear. Then a blackbird darted out into the path in front of me, grabbed a worm in her beak, hopped a few paces back in the direction she had come, regarded me for a few moments, before quickly disappearing in the direction of her nest. I smiled to myself and almost skipped the last few yards to work.

I've been pretty down recently, and I can't say my week has been fab. I've mostly been worn out and very bored with my job, but there are those little things, those little gifts from God - the spring flowers, the birds, the sun shining instead of rain pouring on that 20 minute up-hill walk - that go a long way to lifting your spirit high out of the doldrums, at just the time when you need it. I love God. And I love His spring :)

Gremlins in the Washing Up

The washing up liquid we have in the kitchens at work is called Gremsoap. I thought this was a weird name until I had to use it, and realised it looked like gremlins that have been squished into a pulp and then run through a sieve... Delightful eh?

I'm not sure I really want to use it to wash my mug and glass now...

Chocolate for Girls

Most evenings we unwind with an episode of 'West Wing' or 'House', accompanied by a good cup of tea. Sometimes we enjoy a little bit of chocolate or some other delicious but slightly naughty snack. We usually share whatever snack it is we have, but a couple of nights ago we had both chosen different bars of chocolate. My fiance was happily tucking into bar of Montezuma's finest 70% dark chocolate, whilst I enjoyed fig and orange dark chocolate by Seeds of Change. Whilst my fiance made the tea I was amused to read what was printed on the back of my bar:

"Open this wrapper and, summoning all the willpower you can, hold back for just a moment.
First, breathe in this chocolate's aroma: Trinitario cocoa giving the chocolate it's rich complexity. The delicate orange zest with tangerine overtones. All imbued with fragrant figs, ripened under the hot Aegean sun.
Now taste.
By the way, we only use figs from female fig trees (the males being inferior, are discarded). Sexist? Fruitist? Unashamedly yes."

It made me chuckle, especially when my fiance declared, "SEXIST chocolate?", his eyes wide with horror. It reminded me of Yorkie bars a few years ago when they boldly stated that they were 'Not for Girls.' Well, here I have found a far tastier alternative for us women than nasty Nestle. And my fiance was most miffed when I refused to share my chocolate, because it was chocolate for girls... ;)

A Wonderful Winter Wedding

It was crisp and cold, bitterly cold in fact. The kind of cold that pierces your bones. The sun was bright and the sky a brilliant blue. "Tell your friends they're mad for getting married in January!" my auntie said. Mad? I think not. This is the second January wedding we have been to, having gone along to one last year. We even considered having a winter wedding ourselves but things worked out a little differently to how we had expected. My visions of wearing a long, flowing Medieval inspired gown with dripping ivory sleeves were swapped for somewhat different ideas...better ones in fact ;)

But back to the story I am telling. After an interesting car journey which involved a crucial part of motorway being closed and being forced through the irritating one-way system of a historical Surrey town, we arrived safely in Oxfordshire at my auntie's idyllic little home in the middle of nowhere. Partly thanks to TomTom, and partly thanks to my map-reading skills :D

After changing in her warm little abode into our finest clothes, we headed into Oxford, where we spent a couple of hours with a friend who is studying Architecture at Oxford Brooks, sipping coffee (of course it was tea in my case), examining his newly purchased OS maps of the area, and putting the world to rights. Then it was off for a brisk walk along the river, baring the freezing winds because we had that beautiful winter sun beaming on our faces. Our friend left us at the church as he headed off to work on an assignment.

My friendship with the bride to be came about due to a spoonful of serendipity. My bus was late on the day of my first A-Level English class, and when I got there, unable to breathe from the running, there was one seat left, next to a pretty girl with a short wavy brown bob and glasses. I sat down, and once we were set work, I introduced myself to her. From then on we naturally gravitated towards each other in our English lessons, and soon developed a great friendship through our shared love of Shakespeare and our shared dislike of our teachers vague use of the word, "vague"! As usual university and mission trips abroad came and went, but although we saw each other a lot less, we stayed firmly in touch, praying for each other, sending letters, Facebook messages etc. She met her fiance at university, and last August they got engaged. Lots of excitement. We met up at the end of December to catch up, but with both of our heads full of wedding planning that dominated our conversation for a good hour at least.

The church was beautifully decorated - for an ex-warehouse friends and family of bride and groom had done a stunning job, with pretty drapes, ribbons at the end of chairs, lanterns along the aisle, fairly lights and ivy decorating a pretty arch for the newlyweds to sit beneath. When the bride entered, looking so incredibly beautiful, I don't think my face has fought so much between smiling and crying. It was a moment of pure joy, and the whole day followed in that form. There really is something so very special about seeing someone you love make those all important vows with the love of their life, watching them make a commitment before God, surrendering themselves completely to Him and His will for their life together.

The day was filled with wonderful memories: God, white, sunshine, cold, cake, purple, hearts, prayers, silver, social justice*, fairy lights, ivy, blue, fun, joy, wonder, beauty. Many happy things.

With our wedding now only a few months away it was inevitable that our thoughts would turn to that now and then. There was no stealing of ideas, but there was the spine-tingling realisation that it would be us getting married soon. It brought on excitement and joy for us both, in anticipation of the vows we will be making before God, our family and friends. We've been looking forward to it for so long and now it is a lot closer, with February set to be the month of manic planning and the fine-tuning of details (with a few obligatory things left to the last minute, of course!)

It would have been rude to dwell on thoughts of our own wedding for too long, however, and we were absorbed into the fun, laughter, and pure joy around us. Our friends are right where God wants to be, and this beautiful day was just the start of that next chapter in the exciting plans He has for them. It wasn't just a celebration of what they have in their love of each other, but a celebration of the things to come. And we are there to support them every step of the way. Congratulations to them both!

*this is key to what the bride and groom do in their work, and was a key component of the day.

Wedding Stress!

I am not that stressed about our wedding. Things are going reasonably well. We've got a lot already organised, but there are many things still to do. We need to order materials to make our invitations and orders of service, and then arrange a little "party" of friends and family to help us actually make them! I still need to sort out the flowers. My fiance still needs to sort out his suit. The bridal and bridesmaid accessories and shoes need to be sorted out. And the decorations for the reception venue, the menu for the dinner, and the drinks for the day also need to be organised. Oh, and the music for the reception. And favours need to be sorted. So there is still plenty to do. But look back over that list, figure out what we must have done already, and I don't think we're doing too badly. We have time to arrange these further details, and in many ways that's what they are: details.

The time I get stressed is when I make the mistake of comparing our wedding plans with those of other people's. A girl I knew from church at university got engaged just before Christmas. She and her fiance are getting married a month and a half after us. They, admittedly, will have had less time than us to organise things by the time it gets to their wedding. However, the frightening level of things already done has scared me somewhat. Thanks to the joy that is Facebook, and the regular updates, I have learnt just how much has been sorted - that, and she has a blog detailing it all. They've sorted out the bridesmaids' accessories already, I mean ARGH!!! Two of my best friends are also getting married this year. One the end of this month, and the other in mid-May. Thankfully, their wedding "stress" has been more on par with mine. One friend has managed to get an incredible amount done in time for the end of January - but then she had to! Another friend is on roughly a similar wavelength to me, we've got about similar amounts sorted, so I feel calmer when I chat to her. The girl I knew from university isn't a close friend, but we have a lot of mutual friends, and as I mentioned Facebook and blogs, you are able to hear a lot through the grapevine! I am happy for her and her fiance, and good for them having a short engagement. Ours is beginning to feel like a lifetime! - although there are very good reasons for that, which I shall detail in a further blog post. It's just, I can't deal with the uber organisation of another person when I am so disorganised myself!

The other frightening things, that send a chill down my spine, are bridal magazines. I had declared that I wouldn't read any - I mean, they're virtually a fiver each, and mostly full of adverts, and weddings are quite expensive enough thank you very much! But my mum's god-daughter, who is getting married at the beginning of May, gave her a load to give to me, which someone had previously given her. I wasn't horrified at now having bridal magazines in my possession, as I wanted some ideas for hairstyles, particularly for the bridesmaids, and all of these magazines seem to have hair specials! That, and they are all from 2004-2007, so I could ignore a lot of the articles. However, I have ended up reading some of the articles, partly out of curiosity, and they have just done more to scare me. According to the mags I should have started my bridal beauty regime 18 months before - uh-oh, we won't have even been engaged for that long! The list of things I should have done, and we should include, and what I should look like goes on and on... I should have stuck to my guns, and only looked at the pictures instead - the hair pictures have been helpful, and I'm grateful to my mum's god-daughter for giving me the magazines for that reason. Also, some of the real-life wedding stories have been inspirational, and can be quite a fun read. It's the advice pages that scare me out of my wits!

So, I have to be more realistic about things. About us. About our style. And how we're on the right track. We're doing things at our pace. We thrive on doing things at the last minute. It's how we both work. And it's how both achieved our highest marks at university - leaving it until the night and morning before! I'm not saying that we'll leave key wedding details until then - there is no way either sets of parents would allow it! But there are some things we'll probably only manage to finalise about two weeks before. But those things will be all the better for it. Because that's us, and that's how we do things. I know that the wedding we went to in June last year, our friends had left a few things that society would consider to be a little bit late in the day. But their wedding was fantastic so what difference did it make? In fact, it was probably better for being left to the last minute :D Then there is the wedding of some friends from university that I went to in Wales in August 2008. Arriving the Friday before with three of my good friends, we relaxed and enjoyed some food, and then suddenly we were whirled into the kitchen to stick the orders of service together, the NIGHT BEFORE! But they all came together - it helped us to bond with some of the other guests, who had also been called in to help, and on the day itself there was no way anyone could tell that the orders of service had only been matter of hours earlier.

The wedding industry is like some giant churning machine that threatens to crush you if you dare have one white frill out of place. I don't like it, and there are various things I have deliberately avoided because of it. For example, I have ordered my dress online. It will be custom made to fit my body specifications. I could not bear the thought of trawling round bridal shops trying on wedding dresses. As a result the designer of my dress is an incredibly personable woman, who has been very helpful and very enthusiastic, which is a great encouragement. The other thing that is helping us is that we're getting married at our church, so we know the rector well and we're friends of members of the band. This has helped immensely, because the whole thing is a lot more personal. The company in charge of our reception venue and catering are very professional, and they are used to doing weddings - perhaps they are the closest we've come to the 'wedding machine', but thankfully, as they are a local company who know the community well, they have a good idea of the kinds of things people like (like serving the local brew at the bar, and ensuring that local produce is on the menu), and they are very flexible. So really I haven't needed to become a victim of the wedding industry, because we have been developing clear ideas of what we want all along.

My fiance is still fine about it all. What I need to do is take a step back, stop comparing our wedding plans to other people's, and to enjoy this process. It's the marriage itself that we are most looking forward to, we just want a great party to seal our union. We'll be doing it our way, and that's the way to do it. The wedding industry can back off, because although we have to dip and dive into it for a few necessities, we can generally ignore it and its pushy ideas.

Here's not to wedding stress, but to wedding joy, for all the right reasons!

The Little Things

Unfortunately the snow and ice did put paid to my aforementioned plans for the weekend. Also, I was ill. I've had a cold since just after New Year's Day, one of those annoying ones that takes it's time about leaving, and makes you feel more unwell than a cold really ought to. Add to this snow and freezing temperatures, and I felt pretty shite. So, in a way, it was for the best that I had to stay at home yesterday.

Last night I felt particularly rough, but I woke up this morning feeling quite a bit better and a lot less bunged up. I wanted muffins for breakfast. We live right by a petrol station that has a 24hr shop, and so my fiance went over there to buy some muffins. I went back to bed. I woke some time later. The petrol station didn't have any muffins. But my fiance had made some himself. A hundred times better, and just the ticket for making me feel well enough to get out of bed and with a smile on my face.

My weekend hasn't gone as planned, and I am rubbish at being unwell, but the little things, like delicious home-made muffins by the man you love, go a long way to making you feel so much better :D

Snow Days

We've had a lot of snow in the UK recently. In February last year it started snowing on the first Sunday afternoon of the month, and didn't stop until about the same time the next day. My boyfriend and I walked slowly to the train station in the morning and we weren't surprised to find there were no trains running to London whatsoever. So we enjoyed a warm drink in the station cafe, and then slowly made our way home via the Priory ruins where we ran around in the snow where no one else had yet trod. It was so much fun. We climbed up The Mound and had a fantastic panoramic view of the Downs beyond, and the castle rising out of the white covered roofs of the town. It was breathtakingly beautiful, and picture postcard perfect. It was the most snow I had seen in my life, and enjoying the freedom of our Snow Day we excitedly made our way back home with the hope of buying a sledge.

As we walked through the town centre we saw a queue of about 20 or so people forming outside the sport shop, and they only had 2 sledges for sale! Sensing a scramble would occur we tried Argos, who had foolishly brought out their Spring/Summer catalogue, and therefore had nothing useful for the wintry weather whatsoever. So then it was onto Homebase where we purchased the largest bakest trays we could find...

Then it was back home for hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream, mmm! Our housemates were both at home too. Housemate 1 unfortunately had to work from home, but that didn't stop him from coming upstairs, giggling like crazy, and joining me in small room at the top of the house where we had an excellent view of our back yard (I call it a yard because it is completely paved, and so doesn't really count as a garden). Meanwhile my boyfriend had lured Housemate 2 into the yard, and Housemate 1 and I sent a massive snowball down the roof, which narrowly missed his head, but caused enough of a mess to start a huge snowball fight between us and them. Both my boyfriend and Housemate 2 had impressive aims and got quite a lot of snow inside the house as a result!

After that my boyfriend, Housemate 2, and I trudged up the hill to get to a suitable sledging spot. And this is where the baking trays came into use! Sledging down them was so much fun, and they worked surprisingly well! We did get covered in a lot of snow, but it was worth it. We then wandered for a while, enjoying the incredible views, and then we headed home, just before which we had another brief snowball fight, this time with some mechanics from a local car garage, who had made it into work but had nothing to do. They had built a huge wall of snow to shield themselves, and they began pelting snowballs at us (all meant in good fun). The baking trays became very useful shields however! Then it was back into the warmth for soup and crusty bread, and a chilled afternoon of gaming.

This December just gone, and now this January too we have experienced a fair amount of snow. In our area we've not had has much as we had in February, but the conditions have been far more treacherous this time, with the pavements becoming sheets of ice. It has made simple walks to church, work, and the shops become major expeditions, and a lesson has been learnt in making sure we leave the house in plenty of time.

I haven't been able to enjoy the December and January snow like I did last February, as I don't get Snow Days. That's because as I live in the same town as my office I have no excuse. I have had some challenging walks up the hill but I've been one of the few people who has made it in. So the snow, whilst it still looks beautiful, just hasn't been anywhere near as exciting as it was in February. I am worried that my plans for this weekend will be squashed by further snowfall and icy conditions, which will quite probably bring the trains to a standstill. It will be a shame if I have to miss my friend's hen party in Reading, and I'm also meant to be meeting another friend in London beforehand. It may will be that I can get there, but will I be able to get home again afterwards? I'm just looking to the skies, and keeping an eye on the weather forecast!

Although the snow is a nuisance and it drives a lot of people crazy, and yes it does change various plans, I still love it. Yesterday I was off work ill, and it was lovely sitting wrapped up bed under the quilts, watching the snow fall outside. The Downs are directly opposite, and there is a sheer hill face that is covered in trees. Watching the snow fall on that does wonders for the imagination of a daydreamer. The views towards the Downs from my office are stunning too - it's a beautiful view whatever the time of year, but today when more snow began to fall, we all stopped just to watch the amazing scene before us. So even if my weekend plans fall through, and even though I still have to work when so many other people are out building snowmen, I will still sit back and enjoy the snow, and let it work it's magic on me...

To finish, here are some photos from February 2009's Snow Day:

Welcome to 2010!

Happy New Year!

Guess what my one and only New Year's resolution is this year? Keep my blog regularly updated! Actually, I hope to write far more frequently, not just on here, but also in my own personal diary, in my God book, and to keep churning out that fiction with the hope of turning into a long-term career in the future.

2009 was a great year. There was lots going on, and lots of exciting stuff happened. There were multiple engagements - these included ours :D There were 3 weddings - we attended the church service of one in January, the evening reception of one in August, and then we attended the whole day of one in June (see my blog entry on that one). Plenty of other stuff happened - my youngest brother started university, both my fiance and I got new jobs - he starts his this coming Monday. Quite a lot of difficult stuff happened in 2009 too, and the year didn't exactly go swimmingly in a lot of ways. Even so, there are plenty of happy memories to look back on, and there is lots of excitement for 2010.

I am looking forward to various things this year, an event in particular I am sure you can imagine :D For now, however, I am fighting that 'back to school' feeling with the impending return to work on Monday, by focusing on the things I have to look forward to this month. January is usually very tough for me, but I am attending a hen party next weekend, then in a couple of weeks I'll be staying with my uncle and auntie in Kent for a weekend, and then it's one of the upcoming weddings on the last Saturday of the month! There will be plenty of other things to enjoy as well, which will help me get through the tougher days. Also my fiance bought me a SAD lamp for Christmas, something which is helping with the lack of sunlight.

I wish you all a very bright and blessed 2010!